Father's Day Love (or, Amy finally says something)

Father’s Day has just passed, and it seems fitting that my first official contribution to the family blog is a tribute to some awesome dads.

(This, by the way, is not Phat Tony but is his lovely wife, Amy.)

First, I will begin with my own Daddy . . . Donald Pierce. As a child, I think I was only aware of how much fun we had together, and that you loved me. As I have grown, I have recognized your sensitivity and intelligence, your work ethic and gift for leadership. You have become the great patriarch of our family, and the adored grandpa. I know that my faith in a loving Father in Heaven was first founded through my experiencing the love of my wonderful father on earth. Uga Muga Pals forever!

Next, my Dad of 11+ years now . . . Marshall Caston. Your example of strength and loyalty shaped my husband into the man I was privileged to marry. Your kindness and generosity continue to benefit me and all our family. I am glad we live close enough to have you in our lives regularly. I am honored to have taken your family name.

My brother, Chris Rediske. That there is no end to your silliness is enjoyed by your children and mine alike. Strangely, your presence also brings a sense of peace; I have always loved that about you. Your strength is unassuming, but invaluable to your family, and ours. So when are you going to move back to California, you twit?

My brother, Tracy. It is strange to look at my third grade class picture and realize how long you have been part of my life. You are smart and hilarious and I am continually amazed at how many ways in which you are talented. I am most impressed, however, by the dedication you show as husband and father. I see it in the choices you make, and I heard it in your voice just the other day, when you said “I miss my girls.”

My brother, Aaron. You may not have fathered any children, but you have raised some, and your nurturing influence is sensed and sought after by dozens of nieces, nephews, sunbeams, and countless other small ones (and no, I don't mean midgets). It is a gift, may you enjoy it, for my children surely enjoy being with you.

My oldest and yet newest brother, Christian. Again with the “not technically a father,” and yet having a place in the nurturing of my children. I am glad you moved out here, though I know it was a sacrifice for you, because you get to be more a part of our family’s life. We love you, my kiddies love you, and I trust you with them. And that is a higher compliment than I can properly explain.

Lastly, my strength, my soul, my Tony. I have so many reasons to love you, I cannot begin to write them. Long before you gave me my beautiful children, you became an essential part of me. I am grateful it is your example of hard work and self-discipline that our children see daily. They flourish under your care. We all benefit from your patience, your tireless work for us, your many unheralded acts of love. Chief among them: the repeated sacrificing of your own needs and desires, and the thousand times you have my overlooked faults and forgiven me. Du liebst mir im Herzehn.

Hey Tracy...

I got something for you.

Congrats, Bro!

Get Your Affairs In Order

In what can only be considered one of the signs of an impending apocalypse, Tony and Tracy teamed up this Monday past for a doubles exhibition match against Frank and Christian. Not only did they team up, but they were victorious over their opponents. Tony was reported to be amazed at seeing up close how effective Tracy's cheating could be. Despite becoming dizzy at several points in the match due to the proximity of Tracy's alcohol soaked and foul stenched fans, our intrepid hero dug deep and launched rocket serve after rocket serve to secure victory for the "team." When approached for comment, one of Tracy's fans mustered up a mumbled "Do you like monkeys?" and then passed out. The entire tennis watching world waits with their breath held for tonights' continuation of the Balls on Fire Summer Series '08.

All hail me!

I think I may have to change the name of my blog to The Victor's Page, as I have triumphed yet again on the cracked asphalt field of battle. And this time I didn't even try very hard. So that would bring the summer series record to 3 victories and one loss. It has, however, come to my attention that in an interview posted today, scurrilous and unfair accusations have been made by Tracy. Apparently he has "proof" that I am a Russian robot built specifically to destroy puny, girly named Americans in matches of tennis. Please. My features are clearly more East German than Russian. Come back soon to read my interview with the greatest living tennis player on my side of the street...me.

It Is On!

Alright faithful readers, the 2008 Balls On Fire tennis tournament has officially begun. This blog will be the home of unbiased and even handed reporting. Unlike the missives put up at theprimatecage.blogspot.com by three ill fed monkeys chained to 1 broken IBM Selectric typewriter, the truth can be found here. Truths like the fact that Tony traveled back in time earlier this month to complete a victorious tenth win to conclude the 2007 summer series. Or the fact that Tony is currently leading the '08 series despite the poisoning of his water by one of Tracy's midget ninjas. Or even the sad truth that Tony let Tracy win their last match on Friday so he wouldn't cry his way to the swimming pool in front of his wife and child. On Tuesday this mighty battle will resume and a new, even cooler than the pink, purple water will debut.

Meet The Castons (Part 2)

And that's all I have to say about that.