Congrats, Bro!

Get Your Affairs In Order

In what can only be considered one of the signs of an impending apocalypse, Tony and Tracy teamed up this Monday past for a doubles exhibition match against Frank and Christian. Not only did they team up, but they were victorious over their opponents. Tony was reported to be amazed at seeing up close how effective Tracy's cheating could be. Despite becoming dizzy at several points in the match due to the proximity of Tracy's alcohol soaked and foul stenched fans, our intrepid hero dug deep and launched rocket serve after rocket serve to secure victory for the "team." When approached for comment, one of Tracy's fans mustered up a mumbled "Do you like monkeys?" and then passed out. The entire tennis watching world waits with their breath held for tonights' continuation of the Balls on Fire Summer Series '08.

All hail me!

I think I may have to change the name of my blog to The Victor's Page, as I have triumphed yet again on the cracked asphalt field of battle. And this time I didn't even try very hard. So that would bring the summer series record to 3 victories and one loss. It has, however, come to my attention that in an interview posted today, scurrilous and unfair accusations have been made by Tracy. Apparently he has "proof" that I am a Russian robot built specifically to destroy puny, girly named Americans in matches of tennis. Please. My features are clearly more East German than Russian. Come back soon to read my interview with the greatest living tennis player on my side of the street...me.

It Is On!

Alright faithful readers, the 2008 Balls On Fire tennis tournament has officially begun. This blog will be the home of unbiased and even handed reporting. Unlike the missives put up at theprimatecage.blogspot.com by three ill fed monkeys chained to 1 broken IBM Selectric typewriter, the truth can be found here. Truths like the fact that Tony traveled back in time earlier this month to complete a victorious tenth win to conclude the 2007 summer series. Or the fact that Tony is currently leading the '08 series despite the poisoning of his water by one of Tracy's midget ninjas. Or even the sad truth that Tony let Tracy win their last match on Friday so he wouldn't cry his way to the swimming pool in front of his wife and child. On Tuesday this mighty battle will resume and a new, even cooler than the pink, purple water will debut.

Meet The Castons (Part 2)

And that's all I have to say about that.

Mother's Day Love

As Mother's Day approaches I thought I would use this here page to drop some public love for the mothers in and around my life. I know this is just a holiday made up by Hallmark to sell more greeting cards and we should make sure our mothers feel the love everyday, but there's nothing wrong with taking one day to pile on extra good feelings. With that being said here comes some call outs for the super duper moms who make my world a better place.

My Awesome Wife, Amy Caston...The love of my life and mother of my 3 wonderful children, there are not words to describe everything she means to me. She is the slayer of dragons and the winner of bread. She is the heart soul of our household and we owe her everything. I love you Fishlady. Forever.

My Mommo, Janis Caston...As strong a woman as there is, she took in two children who needed a home and love, and provided both. A person of integrity and an example of what one can accomplish through determination and hard work, you have to love anyone who has been able to put up with me for 34 years. And I do.

My Other Mommo, Flo Pierce...Not only has Flo brought 4 of the most amazing women ever into the world, but she then accepted four odd, somewhat questionable young lads into her family with open arms. We would all be better people if we more closely followed her daily example.

My Sister, Rebecca Caston...I promise I would have put you on here, Becky, even if you hadn't named your firstborn son after me. Being a single mom is the hardest thing in the world I can think of being, and I am very proud of you.

My Other Sister, Andrea Rediske...She can kick your butt. And my butt. Andrea is the living personification of a strong woman. And not just physically. She has overcome so much and even manages to keep Chris in line occasionally.

My Sister-in-Law, Laura Constantine...is the smartest person I know. And she has raised one of the awesomest kids I know. And she hasn't offed Tracy in sleep yet. Wow. Your strength in supporting your family is an inspiration.

My Sister-in-Law, Sarah Thomas...You may not have children of your own quite yet, but I couldn't imagine a better person for my children to look up to. You are one of my best friends. Thank you for being you.

My Sister-in-Law, Joanne Welch...Again, you may not have any o' your own rugrats running amok yet, but your help in raising my little rugrats has been great. My kids love you and they are great judges of character.

In closing I would like to say that this list is in no way encompassing of all of the great examples of motherhood that I have seen. These are a few of the women who's examples I hold dear, and I wanted to thank them. Christy, Amanda, Lynette, Suzanne, and every other mother who puts the lives of their children before even their own, thank you. The world owes you a debt of gratitude.

Religiosity For May

Every time I get frustrated with the state of American politics and think about withdrawing from the system, I remember these words from Proverbs Chapter 16..."It is an abomination to kings to commit wickedness: for the throne is established by righteousness. The wrath of a king is as messengers of death: but a wise man will pacify it." Even if it feels like your vote means nothing, remember that foolish and angry leaders endanger us all. Vote. And consider your vote carefully. Do not be led into the trap of voting for the lesser of two evils as that still leaves you voting for evil. We have more than two parties despite what the media would have you believe, so if you aren't satisfied with your choices from the "big two" then broaden your research. Demand more from those who would determine the future of your children and grandchildren. Sermon over...Seacrest out.